


Healing Is Never Linear, Is It?

by Bisexual_Bean



Series: Catch You, Help You Heal [9]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: But they are working through them together and Im proud of them for it, Have I mentioned how much I hate how Tim was treated as Robin?, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has Mental Health Issues, Jason Todd is a Good Big Brother, Protective Jason Todd, STILL NOT A TAG WHAT, Suicide Attempt, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Mental Health Issues, Tim Drake is Not Okay, because i hate it, but its only mentioned once, but thats ok, we love these boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 01:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Bean/pseuds/Bisexual_Bean
Summary: "Just because you can take something, doesn't mean you should. Didn't you ever learn to tap out as Robin?"Tim's frown deepens. His ears were still ringing and despite Jason holding his punches he could feel the soreness finally settling into his muscles from over working himself, "I needed to work hard as Robin. There was no time for tapping out and 'taking it easy'."Jason snorts from where he stood, wrapping a towel around his neck, "What did the Big Boss say about that?""He was the one who insisted on it," The words had Jason freezing, teal eyes shooting to him.Maybe its because Tim woke up with an inch under his skin, with a pounding headache of a night filled with flashes of fingertips trailing over his bare skin and uncomfortable, hot breaths hitting his neck, but the stare had him curling his hands into fists in his lap.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Catch You, Help You Heal [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904848
Comments: 13
Kudos: 236





	Healing Is Never Linear, Is It?

Tim's lungs felt ready to burst.

After the incident with Jason coming home to him taking his frustrations out on a punching bag all those weeks ago, Jason had suggested doing scheduled sparing matches every week. It was a great way for Tim to continue exercising in a familiar settling, learn new skills, and just...have something to look forward to.

Mary said in his last session that it was always important to have something to look forward to.

But its been a whole 'nother two months, and Tim had yet to even get close to pinning Jason.

To say the least?

It was a bit frustrating.

He had trained under Batman. Fought with the League of Assassins' for gods sake. And he could _tell_ Jason was going easy on him.

It meant there had to be something wrong with him. Something he couldn't see and that Jason refused to point out in fear of upsetting him. He doubts he could even take down a drug deal by himself with how slow his reaction times have been.

So when Jason pinned him to the mat, socked foot pressed flat against his chest, Tim wanted to growl and scream. And he would have if his lungs weren't attempting to burn their way through his rib cage.

Jason offered him a smile, sweat on his forehead, as he backed off.

Tim panted, forcing himself to sit up despite his limbs aching in protest and body dying for rest, "I can go again. Let me go again."

The older man raises an eyebrow, reaching a hand out and pulling Tim to his feet. His legs tremble unsteadily beneath him, and he pretends not to hear Jason's patient sigh as he leads Tim to a chair at the edge of the training mats.

"I really think it's Tim you just relax and drink some water. We shouldn't have had that last match to begin with."

Tim growls low in his throat.

"I can take it."

Jason sends him a look, "Just because you can take something, doesn't mean you should. Didn't you ever learn to tap out as Robin?"

Tim's frown deepens. His ears were still ringing and despite Jason holding his punches he could feel the soreness finally settling into his muscles from over working himself, "I needed to work hard as Robin. There was no time for tapping out and 'taking it easy'."

Jason snorts from where he stood, wrapping a towel around his neck, "What did the Big Boss say about that?"

"He was the one who insisted on it," The words had Jason freezing, teal eyes shooting to him.

Maybe its because Tim woke up with an inch under his skin, with a pounding headache of a night filled with flashes of fingertips trailing over his bare skin and uncomfortable, hot breaths hitting his neck, but the stare had him curling his hands into fists in his lap.

Tim's not afraid to say things have gotten better with Jason. The older man had doubled his efforts to make Tim feel more comfortable after his last few appointments with Mary, explaining (In as few details as possible) how he started as Robin and later on met the Red Hood. Jason had even gone as far as to keep his uniform in a sectioned off part of the basement until Tim felt more comfortable being near it.

He had dragged Tim shopping, insisting he couldn't leave his 'room' looking so boring, else it ruin Jason's style, and wouldn't let him leave the store until he had picked out new bed sheets, a lamp, shelves to display his belongings (As though Tim brought anything aside from clothes from his old apartment), curtains, and a bean bag chair.

Tim had insisted he didn't need anything. That the way the guest bedroom was set up was perfectly fine, but Jason had simply pulled him into a hug (In the middle of the store) and told Tim that it was _his_ bedroom, and that he was sorry for not making that fact clear sooner.

So, getting this look from Jason, piercing and sorrowful, Tim knew it had to be one of those things that might seem normal to him, but to everyone else (Mainly Jason and Mary) was wrong.

"Kid..."

Tim cuts him off before he can continue, standing despite his still shaky stance and swatting away Jason's hand as it reaches out to him, "I don't want to talk about this Jason. I thought we dropped it"

Dropped how Bruce treated him in the beginning. Dropped how wrong it was to be forced to go home every night to an empty house and only allowed in the manor when it was time to patrol. How Dick ignored his existent for the first several months and how, when training, Bruce sometimes called him the wrong name. 

It was one of the things he had skimmed over in his sessions with Mary sending him an unreadable look that sent shivers down his spine and Jason curling closer on the couch next to him. How, when Mary attempted to pick further into his relationship with the Bats, Tim ended up hyperventilating and being forced to lay down on the ground, chest heaving and vison fading in and out of focus, because he wasn't fine but he was _fine._

He didn't want Mary seeing into that part of his past. Picking him apart and telling him just how _wrong_ he's been in everything he's ever done. How stupid it was to take on Robin, how immature it was to run away when he was kicked from the position.

He doesn't want to imagine Bruce's disappointed face, hovering over him when he finally collapses onto the mat, his thin, weak arms unable to hold him up any longer. How Alfred always sent him such a pitying glances when Batman and Robin returned from patrol only to be told to change back into civvies and return to an empty shell of a home. How he would find Dick staring at Jason's memorial case for hours on end, and the glare he had sent Tim when they had first been introduced to each other.

"Tim-" The name hits him hard, because Jason only uses his name when Tim's starting to panic. But he isn't. His breathing is calm, if still a bit labored from their spare. His hands don't shake where they stay pressed to the sides of his legs, still tightly balled up in fists. He's calm, and still. Very still.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Jason hums, "I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't **_want_** your help!" His nails dig into his palms and he feels a need to curl up in the nearest corner but he takes a step back instead, "I don't need you or Mary to dissent my past just to tell me how broken I am. I already _know_. So just drop it," He's staring at Jason, whos teal eyes hold his in a steady gaze.

"Not telling Mary about what happened isn't going to help anything Tim. You have to talk if you want to get better. She can help you more than I can."

Tim chokes on the figurative spear that just stabbed through his heart. He knew it. He's been relying on Jason, on his connection to the Bats and being able to just _know_ how they are, instead of dealing with it himself. Going to him for comfort, crying on his shoulder time after time. Eating his food, taking up his space, forcing him to come to sessions with him.

Tim's been nothing more than a burden since Jason saved him from that rooftop.

He doesn't realize he's running till he hears Jason shouting behind him. He barely feels his feet beneath him, carrying him from the Hood Cave (A name he came up with about a month ago and it made Jason laugh so hard the name stuck), carrying him away from the apartment and down the street. Down back alleys and wherever else to loose Jason's trail.

Its only after he's tucked himself against some trashy dumpster, a fat rat skittering in front of him, that he buries his head in his hands and starts to cry.

Tim's shoulders shake with each shuddering sob, nails scratching violently across the top of his skull with each hard tug of his hair.

Jason is going to be so upset with him. He's going to drag him back to the apartment. Force him to talk about what happened.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing all alone?"

Heart jumping to his throat, Tim's head shoots up. Hazel eyes stare back at him, a man about Jason's height taking up the majority of his vision.

It takes another few seconds to process what was said as the mans grin widens.

"What...?"

"I mean..." A hand snakes forward towards him, "If you're crying over a boyfriend or something, I can offer a decent distraction."

Tim's still trying to get over the pounding of his heart in his chest when the man leans down to his level, the hand that was reaching towards him settling on his side where he slides Tim's shirt up ever so slightly, breath reeking of alcohol hitting his nose.

And this is where Tim knows he should fight back. Kick the man, punch him, _anything_. Because he was a Bat. Red Robin. He didn't just let people go around touching him.

_Now you're just lying to yourself. Or have you forgotten **her**?_

Tim flinches at the thought. At the memory of a chest pressing firmly against his own, long tipped nails skimming against his throat, lips brushing against his ear as they speak of an heir.

"Get your disgusting hands off my little brother before I castrate you here and now."

The man arches an eyebrow, leaning back out of Tim's space. 

Apparently he doesn't move far enough fast enough though, as he's jerked roughing away from Tim's curled up form, being thrown against the opposite wall of the alley.

"Fucking scram before I put a bullet between your eyes," Was growled out between clenched teeth, Jason standing with his back to Tim as a firm barrier between him and the stranger, gun clenched tight in his grip.

From between Jason's legs Tim watches the man huff, stand, and grumpily march out of sight with his hands in his pockets. It's only when Jason is satisfied with the distance between them that he turns back to Tim, eyes wide and concerned and _scared_. Hands smoothing over Tim's arms and through his hair as if looking for any wounds.

"He didn't touch you did he? Did anyone else come by?" Tim's shaking his head, struggling weakly against Jason's mother-henning, before focusing on the way the older man's chest heaves and two arms pull him close to a broad chest.

"I know it's asking a lot with, ya know, us being us, but never fucking scare me like that again ok?"

Tim nods against Jason's shoulder, hands balled and tucked between them.

It's after a few more minutes of Jason just holding him, of Tim not speaking a word, that Jason pulls away and brushes the stray hairs (Still slick with sweat) from Tim's face, "I'm sorry ok? I'm so sorry that I didn't wait till you were in a better mind set to bring up what happened. I know talking about it stresses you out, I just want you to get help Tim. More than I can give you. Treatment. Understanding. You can share things with her that you aren't comfortable sharing with me yet, or ever. I just want that for you so badly, that I pushed you into it before you were ready."

A pause for air.

"But if you can't. If it's to much for you right now, I understand. I won't force you to talk about it. Just please, _please_ don't run away like that. I didn't know where you went, or if you were ok. If you couldn't breath or think or react. And when I saw that _asshole_ ," The word was hissed through clenched teeth with pure venom, "I just..."

And it's then that Tim realizes that Jason is crying. That the short hiccups in his voice is him trying to hold back tears.

His heart breaks. Makes him reach up and wrap his arms around his older brothers neck and tuck the taller mans face into the crook of his neck. Lets him cry as Tim rubs circles into his back.

It's scary how quickly Tim forgets Jason has his own issues. Things aside from the pit that he's had to work through. Fears from his childhood, from his time on the streets...

He sometimes gets so focused in his own thoughts, in his own problems, that he doesn't even think about Jason's. His doubts and his concerns.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," He whispers the words quietly, voice croaky after screaming earlier. His hands still shake slightly with left over anxiety, and exhaustion pulls at his limbs, but his breath is ruffling the longer strands that tend to curl around Jason's ears and he feels the man lean further into his embrace, "I got overwhelmed. I've had a rough day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I forgive you, and I understand why you said what you said."

The arms curled around his torso tighten and he sighs. His thoughts are still a swirling tornado of anxiety. Of things he's forced himself to forge. Of things he wishes he could just burn.

But at the moment he has a trembling brother in his arms. Both of them are beginning to shiver from the cold, and he would much rather calm down and continue this conversation inside where they can settle on the couch with a cup of hot coco.

"Lets go home ok?" He feels Jason nod against his throat and slowly the two of them gather themselves enough to stand, Tim keeping an arm security around the other.

"Lets go home."

**Author's Note:**

> God I missed working on this series. It always makes me feel all warm and gushy inside writing about these two brothers. I've kinda been pre-occupied with other things, but I still have a whole bunch of thoughts and half written stories for these in the notes on my phone, so of COURSE I'm going to continue writing for it. Who do y'all take me for?!  
> But anyways, hope you enjoyed, let me know if I missed anything, and take care of yourselves!


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